lioness17

Tonight was an awful basketball practice. No one was really into it from the beginning, including myself, and it showed. It felt like everything was in slow motion and since Darren's motto is "Run, Baby, Run", he wasn't at all impressed. We played 3 on 3 full court, which we always suck at because it's so much sprinting and never a break, and naturally, we got into trouble. So much that we had a Talk. During this talk, Darren said his speech, which is always motivating to me, and then asked Rachel if she honestly thought we were better than our high school team. She said "sort of" and blah blah blah. Darren finally got her to make her decision and she said no. Then he went around and asked everyone else what they thought. When he got to me, I wasn't sure. And because I hesitated and he said honestly, I had to say no. Everyone else said yes. So he came back to me and Rachel and asked us why. I already felt bad because I said no and made it sound like four months of hard work had been for nothing. Now I had to explain it. I gave the reason that we're tripping on the small things such as layups and yadah yadah yadah. Of course, I think of the more thorough explanation after.

We have the same problem we've had since we played for Dean two years ago, the first time this team was together. We blow hot, then cold. We can't make it through a game with consistency. I mean, of course we're going to make mistakes and we may have a bad possession or two, but we lose it for half a quarter or more and can't get back into it. If we're lucky and do get back in the grove, we've put so much more work into it then we should've. In high school, we played easy teams as Darren pointed out for me to think about. That made everyone look like superstars. But I think that's because our confidence level rose and now, when we play harder teams, we know they're good and we shy away from it. I say "we" intentionally; I'm as guilty, if not more so in some cases, as everyone else. We're so afraid to make a mistake or lose the game or whatever that we think way too hard instead of letting reflexes take over and do the job for us. Of course, we get into trouble for not focusing (lay ups, passes, etc.) but I really think that if we just...play that everything will be better. Instead, we think "oh the pass should go over there because she should be open" and make the pass with three defensive players in between us. It's been the same thing since day one.

Now, that was really negative. On the positive side we have improved in some areas (maybe I should have said yes because we have improved, if not as much as we should've). We're getting faster. A lot faster, especially these passed couple weeks. Our minds are going faster and a lot of times, that's when we start reacting instead of thinking. As long as our bodies can keep up (and for some reason, mine doesn't seem to), then we're all set. In practice. In a game, we slow things down because of fear I think. However, back to positives. Our one on one skills have improved as well as our outside shooting. Kim makes her lay ups probably 85% of the time now, if not more. Katelyn isn't traveling as much. Ashley's doing a great job under the net, both offensively and defensively. Hannah's making more lay ups. Individual improvements are there. Sometimes we have a problem putting them into game situations and working as a team.

I don't want to take basketball any further than high school. I know that. My passion is in education, but I also like being physically fit. And I like the challenge. Basketball always makes me think (I know, I just said don't think, react, but whatever). It's something to work on and usually a great stress reliever unless we practice like we did tonight. Then it just adds to the stress and makes me want to quit. But I never will because I don't quit. I will never be happy if I was to quit as a mediocre player. I have to be good at everything I do. Not necessarily the best, and not starting five, but good. And I need to make the other girls, the ones who are serious about basketball, I have to make them better. If I know that Kim doesn't make that pass in a game because she remembers me stealing it in practice, then my work is done. I have to hold the team together, pick them up and encourage them when Darren's being hard on us. I know that. And I like my role there.